The Essence of Self-Love: A Foundation for Flourishing and Living Your Best Life

Let's dive into the importance of self-love and why it is essential to your wellness journey!

In talking to other women in the wellness space, I have found that each one has a unique story about what led them to this path. Some of them have always prioritized their well-being, but most have personal stories - a life shifting event that propelled them to find more balance and joy in their worlds. Similar to my experience, their journeys prompted them to equip others with tools that they wish they had during their own valleys in life. As I pondered the root of my decision to pursue wellness coaching, I asked myself what was the catalyst for my wellness journey?

A health scare (I am fine now, Thank God!) and career burnout propelled me onto this journey. I started down a path to uncover what events led me to this point and how I could begin to unravel the mountain of stress that I was under. Over time, I realized how much I had been neglecting myself to my own detriment. I told God that if He could bring me through this situation, then I would begin to make improvements in my life, shift my priorities, and give back to other women who may find themselves on similar paths. I am not alone though. Research has shown that stress can have a profound effect on black women. A 2016 study from PubMed Central found that black women ages 49–55 are "7.5 years biologically “older” than white women. Indicators of perceived stress and poverty account for 27% of this difference."

Sometimes, when people think of wellness they think of diet and exercise, and maybe a few yoga sessions here and there (I know I did!). While these things are important and certainly apart of the wellness ecosystem, there are other areas in our lives that are just as important for our overall life satisfaction including our careers, spiritual life, emotional care, romantic relationships, financial wellness, environment, and social community. I know first-hand how chaos ensues when we start to neglect some of these areas. Fixing one area, while helpful, is simply not enough. Women must take a holistic look at all areas and determine a strategy for improvement and develop a deeper love for ourselves. Our lives depend on it.

As I worked to make improvements in these areas of my life, I found that while improving my wellness was highly important, improving my self-love was at the root of my mission. After all, I could not expect to live life well without understanding that living well meant having a greater sense of love for myself in a way that would allow me to prioritize my well-being. I found that prioritizing myself allowed me to show up as my best self at work, in love, and with friends and family. I also found myself more in tune with my body and intuition than I had ever been. Even on days that were not the greatest, I started to feel a sense of satisfaction that was unfamiliar, but very powerful.

As I found myself more greatly in-tune with my body and intuition, I began to learn more about myself and areas that may have been long ignored because there were “greater” priorities. I learned to recognize and trust the gnawing feeling I may have about toxic relationships or circumstances of any kind as a signal that I needed to remove myself from them. As a Christian, I began to understand the power of prayer, a consistent relationship with God, and the persistent sense of joy that it brings. I began to embrace hobbies and activities that I love, like traveling and reading, and felt the feelings of guilt slowly slipping away. I was learning that it is okay for me to prioritize and enjoy myself without first spreading myself thin and taking care of everyone else. It is okay to celebrate myself, even for the smallest accomplishments. It is okay to have black girl magic AND black girl joy, and I do not need to apologize to anyone for it.

To say I have “arrived” would be a vast overstatement. This is a daily practice that I have been working on for years. I have seen steps forward and steps backwards. I am learning to allow myself the grace to be human. I challenge myself to be the best version of myself every day. When I do that, I know that even if I do not have my greatest moment, I can give myself grace and forgiveness because I know that I am committed to being my best. If you are on your journey, keep up the good work! If you are just getting started, keep going – every step counts. This journey is not a sprint, but a marathon filled with unexpected twists and turns, great accomplishments, and great setbacks. Let grace be your guiding principle because perfection is a fallacy. When you are wrong, apologize and ask for forgiveness. When you are right, stand in your truth. You deserve respect too and are no less important. As you do the work, you may uncover an essential love for yourself that you may have forgotten or may have never known. Trust me, the journey is worth it.

Cheers to loving YOU!

xo Kiara

Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2861506/