Part 5 - New Year, New You - Love Yourself
- Kiara Burroughs
- Feb 2
- 4 min read
As we enter the month of love, Black history, and heart health awareness, it is only fitting that we round out our five-part series on the topic of love - specifically self-love. Self-love and self-worth are topics that we will continue to visit throughout this blog and any programming that will evolve from it because it is so important to our endeavors. How you value and love yourself will have a profound impact on your choices, how you experience and evaluate life, who you allow into your inner-circle, and how you treat yourself. Throughout each day we encounter a series of decisions. Some require more thought than others, but all take us down what some may believe are destined paths. As a Christian, I do believe that God has a divine plan for all of our lives. He has given all of us freedom to exercise choice and, regardless of what we decide, He will use it to move us towards our divine purpose. He does this because He loves us. The question is are we believing in this and valuing and loving ourselves in the best ways possible?
Self-love and your relational health
I was listening to a podcast featuring Sarah Jakes Roberts, and she mentioned how she intentionally keeps her circle of friends very small and is very intentional about nurturing those relationships. I sat with how distinct her choice is when we live in a world that values fame and having an entourage. Think about the people in your life who are truly in your corner - your best cheerleaders. These are the people you can always count on to be there through the best and worst times in your life. They will also hold you accountable to your goals and to making the best decisions for yourself. When you consider how you show self-love to yourself, consider the state of your relational health as this will impact your overall well-being. Do you have any toxic friends or family in your life whose comments or habits may impact how you feel about yourself? Consider the value of these relationships (to you and to them) and why you keep these individuals in your life. You are worthy of a supportive and loving community.
Self-love and your physical health
Exercise and diet are another way that we show love to our bodies. I am a foodie and certainly love trying new foods - especially dessert. It's so hard to resist sometimes! However, we must keep in mind that when there is overindulgence in foods that may not be the best for us, we may not be showing our bodies the best love. If you find that you struggle with making healthy food choices or disordered eating, then please consider seeking a licensed dietitian and mental health professional to help you navigate this journey. There is absolutely no shame in your struggles or seeking help to get the support you need. In fact, seeking the support you need is another form of self-love. Exercise is another great way to keep our bodies healthy and release endorphins - one of the happy hormones. See my previous post on setting fitness goals for tips on approaching exercise in a way that works for you. You are worthy of a body that not only looks good, but feels good too!
Self-love and your mental health
One of the major reasons that I decided to venture into health and wellness is my advocacy for prioritizing mental health. Life is hard. Things do not always work out the way that we would like despite our best efforts. Sometimes we need to release our disappointments and hurts as suppression and internalization can sometimes lead to physical manifestation. Even Jesus wept - see John 11:35. If you need the science, then, as you know, we are always ready with the data:
A 2010 study showed that "effortful suppression of negative emotion has immediate and delayed consequences for stress-induced cardiovascular reactivity."
A 2011 study showed that "people may become more aggressive after they have to control their emotions.
A 2013 study showed "emotion suppression may convey risk for earlier death, including death from cancer."
I could go on (Trust me there are plenty of studies. This ain't new!), but you get the point. One of the greatest ways we can show love to ourselves is caring for our mental health. Take the time to release the stress, process the pain, and unpack trauma. It is so important and something that we are only now starting to see people appreciate more. I must give special attention to black women as we notoriously suppress our emotions and often without an outlet to manage them. This is a state of emergency. We MUST carve out time to deal with our mental health. You are worthy of a sound mind. Taking care of it is surely one of the greatest expressions of self-love.
Sometimes we are moving through life so quickly, anxious to accomplish the next goal and looking to our neighbors to see where they are in the race to determine if we have made it far enough. This can sometimes lead to unhealthy choices that we may not give much thought to at first but may have profound impacts. As you begin to formulate and move forward on your goals throughout the year, remember to love yourself. Love yourself enough to make healthy choices. Love yourself when others say you are unworthy. Love yourself on your best days and your worst. Love yourself when you fail and when you succeed. Love yourself because you are resilient. Despite every loss, failure, lapse in judgement, disappointment, heartbreak, and betrayal, you got up, took life by the horns, and kept going. Love yourself because you deserve it. We all do.
Cheers to love in 2025!
xo Kiara
P.S. Join us on IG @sereneblackgirl for our 28 Days of Self-Love Challenge!
Resources
Therapy:
Eating disorders: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
Sources:
Quartana PJ, Burns JW. Emotion suppression affects cardiovascular responses to initial and subsequent laboratory stressors. Br J Health Psychol. 2010 Sep;15(Pt 3):511-28. doi: 10.1348/135910709X474613. Epub 2009 Oct 16. PMID: 19840496.
University of Texas at Austin. "Psychologists find the meaning of aggression: 'Monty Python' scene helps research." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 24 March 2011. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/03/110323105202.htm>.
Chapman BP, Fiscella K, Kawachi I, Duberstein P, Muennig P. Emotion suppression and mortality risk over a 12-year follow-up. J Psychosom Res. 2013 Oct;75(4):381-5. doi: 10.1016/j.jpsychores.2013.07.014. Epub 2013 Aug 6. PMID: 24119947; PMCID: PMC3939772.
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